Grow some girl-balls and come out already
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
