The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
