I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
