just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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