So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
