This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
