He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
