Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
