i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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