Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I have aggressive nipples.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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