No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
