This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
