you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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