I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
