Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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