how can u be prego again
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
