oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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