i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You need a sexual gate keeper
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
