By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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