Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
