I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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