So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You've changed since you got that strap on
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
