please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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