that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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