even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
