so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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