I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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