eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
