she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
