The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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