I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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