I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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