its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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