I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I am spending my child support on dildos
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
