Have you finally orgasmed yet?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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