so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
