her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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