I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
