Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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