Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize