Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
zippers are such a cool invention
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
