Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
