I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
