I have demons in me.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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