Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize