Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
