i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
