After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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