It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
