I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm determined to sit on that face.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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