I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
