So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize