WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
