He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
