I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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