he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
