The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
