put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
