That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
