We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He felt like a one man threesome
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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